My Story

How I Learned To Build My Coaching Business

I was introduced to significant change and disruption quite early in life. I was born in England but my family first emigrated to Canada when I was four years old. I say first because that attempt didn’t work out and we had to go back. One year after returning, a second attempt was made. This was successful but arriving for the second time was just the start of a process.

Moving countries 3 times in 2 years was quite an event for a young boy. I remember the disruption, all the packing and unpacking and the cleaning and the painting. As well, the trades people coming in and out to get the home repairs and maintenance jobs done when we were both moving in and moving out. Then, added to that, each trip was a voyage by sea.

The Atlantic crossings were exciting for us kids. We would be down in the engine room one day, up on the bridge another, playing games on deck and sitting at the captain’s table at dinner time. I also remember going through a rough storm at night. The ship got seriously tossed about and the sea sickness was brutal, but thankfully short lived once the waters calmed.

Arriving in Canada the 2nd time wasn’t straight forward. In addition to those transatlantic crossings, the following few years saw us having to move three more times within the country. Finally, after four years, we settled in a mid size town on the prairies. It was here that my father got the opportunity to do professionally what he was well qualified to and be paid in the manner he wished.

I look back on this early part of my family’s life and I see it wasn’t easy for my parents. I believe it demonstrated the power of their resilience, persistence, managing failure and having the faith and courage to pursue a better life for our family. Sometime later, I was to learn there was another key factor with my parent’s success. It wasn’t what, but who.

Though my paternal grandfather died when my father was in his early 20s, his Godfather’s help and support for both my parents was very significant. This was confirmed by the considerable appreciation and respect they had for this man. He was not only a dear family friend but his role was akin to that of a coach and mentor. He had a significant influence and his role directly impacted my parents’ success. They held him in such high esteem that my brother was named after him.

Growing up, music was a big part of our family life. As a child, I loved the sound of the symphony orchestra, jazz bands and progressive rock bands. In my early teens I thrived in the school band program. In my high school years, I was earning money playing bass in dance bands and a rock band. From there, I pursued music further and sought out classical instruction with a professional double bass player. (Anyone not versed in the orchestra world, the double bass is the big instrument at the back of the orchestra’s string section). It was during this time I decided I wanted to go to Toronto to study and train to be a professional orchestraI bass player.

As you no doubt can imagine, this was not a stellar career choice from a parental perspective. Further to this, my youthful optimism was not shared by my parents at the time and it seemed that my father’s assessment of my unbridled enthusiasm was akin to having faith in a lead balloon’s capability to fly.

With support and optimism in short supply I almost didn’t make it through my first year of studies. There was always more month left at the end of the money and I couldn’t work long hours at a job, do the required extensive daily practise, properly attend my classes and do the assigned work well. Something had to give. I landed up in the emergency ward twice from illnesses due to attempting to live on minimum sustenance. I was woefully behind most of my fellow music students and there was the consistent pressure because of my career choice at home. This leaded to stress, insecurities in myself and doubting my own self worth. (Something I was to battle with for some years after.)

Despite the difficult start, my persistence did not go unrewarded. In my 2nd year, I was of an eligible age for the student loan program. My application was successful and with the necessities now met, this allowed me to catch up with my studies and training, that is, until my fourth year.

As I prepared the loan application for my final year, the requirements had changed. This time it was obligatory to declare any assets you may have. Though not largely significant, my instrument was an asset that held a degree of financial value. Wishing to be honest and play by the rules, I declared it on the form. The result was my loan application got denied. The loan authorities seemed to reason that despite being a music performance major, owning a musical instrument of the financial value on or near the sum total of the academic year’s fees, living costs and expenses would warrant it to be sold to pay for those outgoings. On what you were then to perform on after that fact seemed not worth the consideration.  

Despite being young and trying unsuccessfully not to panic, I learned in time to reframe this as more of a bump in the road, though a significant one. I also learned from my past experience of landing up in the emergency ward that when it was time to ask for help, ask only those who would most likely be willing and able to help you. With this simple formula, I approached both my teacher and the University. They agreed to help.

My teacher provided a letter explaining the necessity for this standard (and value) of instrument and why at the pre professional stage a mediocre instrument would not cut it. Meantime, in good faith, the University allowed me to continue for a number of months into my final year without the fees being paid.  

With my much sweated over appeal application done, accompanied by a strong explanatory letter from my teacher with some lately added sting to it and the University’s letter of concern for the penalising nature of the authority’s assessment, their decision was overturned! We had won. I finished my final year, graduated and was able to keep my instrument. This though, was not the last of it.

During my post graduate studies, I was working a day job and breaking into the professional music world. Large cities are never cheap to live in and as I was just starting out. Though making progress, I was only keeping up with paying the basics in life and I got behind on my loan. In those early months I just wasn’t earning enough fast enough. The governments’ collection agency was on to me and the instrument was under threat again as the loan was now due in full. The banks weren’t touching me as my credit rating was not sufficient yet to get a personal loan. My own attempt at negotiating wasn’t going well. I was caught between a rock and a hard place. It was time to ask for the right help again.

Coming from the prairies we prairie people help one another. I had a good friend who was a few years older than me. He was now a successful lawyer with his own law practise. He took my case pro bono and advised the agency that I was fully committed to paying back all the monies with the interest.  Penalising me so early on would only force me to declare bankruptcy and no one wins. My self esteem was taking another hit and I was haunted again that my choice of career as “wrong’.  Though he was able to save the instrument as it was now deemed a tool of the trade, I felt like a failure. However, the gambit paid off. I got a stay of execution. I kept building up my income and my payments slowly increased in amount and frequency.

Two years later, I was now working with 3 orchestras, doing substitute work for musical Phantom of the Opera and was teaching at three schools with prominent music departments. I was now paying my bills and debt with my music skills. I felt I was making some significant progress. It was about this time that my teacher and mentor with whom I had kept in contact, encouraged me to go (back) to England, as there were significant opportunities to be had. Though I knew he was right I wrestled with a number of issues like:

  • it had taken me seven years to get to where I was
  • I’d have to start all over again
  • I’d have to move to a different country
  • I wouldn’t know anyone (although, that wasn’t completely true)
  • I could lose what I had worked so hard to get
  • I could fail and go back to nothing,
  • I could get into more debt!
  • I had secured some good paying contracts for the coming season
  • there were a few great works on the schedule, one of which I had waited years to have the opportunity to perform.

I seemed to of had excuses for almost everything! However, regardless the trepidation, insecurity and the mountain of excuses, deep down I knew this was a significant and important opportunity for the long term. It was time to get over myself, think this through objectively, muster up some courage and take the appropriate action, despite not knowing what the outcome was going to be. I realised I had a choice to make. Either take the opportunity and the risk, or, turn it down and never know.

I had recently made an acquaintance of a bass player who lived in London. She was a friend of a good friend and colleague of mine. I got in touch and she offered to help. I then made arrangements with my professional contacts that I would be gone for 6 months, I deputised as much of my work as possible so as not to lose it. This way I’d have something to fall back on if I failed. I then left with two suitcases and a bass.

My new friend with whom I was very grateful, provided me with initial lodgings. Being a bass player herself, she knew the challenges I was facing. She passed on my resume to a prominent London musician and bass player (who was later to become a good friend and mentor). With his encouragement and recommendation, I applied to audition for one of London’s major orchestras. To my surprise they offered me an audition. That audition went rather well and within three months of arriving I was working with a full-sized world-renowned symphony orchestra. This professional relationship lasted 12 years. It also helped open other doors for me to work with other orchestras in England and Scotland and to work in London’s West End theatres. I literally never looked back. This had catapulted me into a whole different professional realm including touring, recording and broadcasting work. I was privileged to perform on many occasions in Europe’s finest concert halls. It also put me in a position to later teach and coach young upcoming musicians.

As well the major successes, there were a few little surprises as well. the one work I had waited years to perform I found myself within those first few months sitting in Abbey Road Studios recording the exact work for commercial release. As for my new found bass friend, she became my wife and we had our 30th wedding anniversary in the year I wrote this content.

Most importantly, this statement is in no way to boast. To be transparent, I had many failures, set backs and auditions that did not go my way. There were some players more talented than myself. I produced the goods and was a good musician as defined by my resume at the time, but I was not super talented. This is simply a personal testament that hopefully will help demonstrate that when faith is applied with proper preparation, acquired good skill sets, healthy mindsets, persistence and resilience with the right help and mentoring, so that when all that meets opportunity, it can be a game changer, regardless of the career, work or business you are in.  

Over that twenty-year period, I performed into the 1000s of engagements including; concerts, shows, recordings, broadcasts as well as touring throughout Europe, the UK, Canada, US, Mexico and South Korea. I taught and coached countless music students from beginners to university and college levels, from individuals to large groups and everything in between.  Some of those students are performing and teaching professionally today.

After a total of 23 years of performing, I returned to Canada facing another major transition. It came with the same fears, unknowns, difficulties, resistance and now people were questioning my decisions and motives to leave the concert stage. The bottom line was, I knew it was the right thing for me and my family in the long run.

After a few false starts, I got an opportunity to work at a good art gallery. I applied myself in the same way as I had in the symphonic world. I started at ground zero, vacuuming the rugs. Then I learned about the art, the artists, sales and marketing. I found working with and helping clients was enjoyable, as these individuals were expressing themselves through their purchases and creating their own environments. Yes, I still missed the orchestra at times, however fast forward after 10 years I have successfully managed and curated two art galleries and have achieved nearly 2 million dollars in sales. It gave me the opportunity to learn sales, marketing and how to run a business successfully.

Due to my success in the art gallery world, I was able to get involved working with kids through a special music training program, Sistema NB.  Sistema helps train and coach at risk kids who are under performing at school. It helps young people break poverty mindsets, realise their talents and capabilities and learn to respect and value themselves and others in the context of working and collaborating together to perform music in a symphony orchestra.

These are two examples of making significant changes and transitions in my life . They are the highlights, not the complete story. My hope is that if you need to make a significant change in your work, career or business then this brief synopsis may be of help . I can relate to the emotional ups and downs, the stress at times and the difficulty. Know that I am no more special nor gifted than anyone else and I make mistakes. However, to transition successfully and have the transformation in your life you desire it will take a vision, courage, commitment, help, hard work and faith along with the right tools, strategies, tactics and mindsets and habits. And if I can do it then you can too, so it is doable.